when the music fades....

you know (duh) that i dont really update my blog as often as i used to. and at one point i updated daily. but still, my blog seems so dead. 50 visits per week. dats not including my daily visits to see if anyone still comes. it doesnt look like it, and i only have myself to blame. anyways. i'm here to talk about one very special, wonderful person.

there are some times when you feel like the world is on your shoulders, and that everyone is watching you suffer and laughing at you for it. there are times when you just feel like there's no point in carrying on in life. it's too pointless. sometimes you even feel that your life is so dull and monotonous that you yearn to be free.

it is during these times that i am rejuvenated by this person. i am made whole again. i am revitalised. awakened.

there are moments in life when you feel like you're at the top. like you're feeling that there's nobody stopping you from taking over the world. nobody to prevent you from reaching the peak. and then suddenly you look down and realise that you're alone. all alone.

it is during these times that i know without a doubt that i am not alone. i have someone holding my hand all the way. sharing my joys, rejoicing with me as i rejoice.

occasionally you see other people together and you feel left out. you see them hugging and kissing and holding hands and being affectionate. and you look to yourself and wonder when will i ever get the chance?

in a single heartbeat my thoughts go to her. i know that wherever she is, i am in her heart, and in her mind. i can almost feel the love radiating from her to me, calling me out and basking me in her light.

there are some situations when you look in the mirror and dont see what you want to see. many times i see a fat, ugly monster with little or no talent at all. sometimes you see another girl and remark upon her beauty, her charm, her personality.

all these times, i close my eyes and thank the Lord. for i have been so blessed with loving not just someone beautiful, charming, or with great personality, but also someone whom i know loves me with all her heart despite my many flaws and weaknesses. i am safe in the knowledge that she will be there for me.

sometimes you just want to hold someone. like there's no tomorrow.

if i close my eyes, i see her and i can feel myself slip my arms around her and embrace her tightly. like there's not tomorrow.

well, if there really is no tomorrow...

then i have no regrets whatsoever with my one and only.

Michelle Teo Chin Chi.

keep on smiling, dear.